Protect Your Peace {curate your circle}

A FemCity Global member told me she's been loving these Sunday notes. Then she asked me something I haven't stopped thinking about since: "Violette, how do I actually create and curate my circle?"

Good timing, because I've been in it lately. Since I started menopause, something in me has shifted. I've gotten so much more particular about who gets my time and my energy. I don't have the patience I used to for people who drain me, and I've started noticing — really noticing — the ones who fill my cup and are good for me and my growth. I don't think that's a coincidence. This stage of life has a way of clearing things out, showing you what actually matters. Your circle included.

So let's get into it.

Your circle doesn't just happen to you. You build it, on purpose — the same way you'd build anything you care about. Your home. Your partnerships. Your style. And like anything worth building, it needs upkeep sometimes. A little pruning here, a little planting there. A sprinkle of more water and a bit more sun.

Here's where I'd start:

1. Notice who actually lights you up. Think about your current circle right now. Who do you feel extra loved around? Who do you walk away from feeling calmer, more like yourself, maybe even a little more capable? Pay attention to that emotion and sensation.

This week, reach out to one of those people and actually make plans. Not the "we should catch up" kind — an actual date on the calendar. Really do it.

2. Follow the pattern. Look at the people who made that list. Where did you meet them? A workshop, a FemCity room, a flight delay that turned into a friendship? There's usually a thread there if you look, review, and analyze.

Go back to that kind of space this week. It tends to work more than once, and that's the vibe of what you're looking to curate and expand.

3. Make room, and let some things go. You can't really welcome new people in if your circle is already full of ones who don't fit anymore. Sometimes making space means releasing what no longer feels good. And that's allowed — often part of the transition.

You can love someone from a distance and still choose to close your circle to anyone who messes with your growth. That's not cold. It's just honest. This one was a big deal for me — it's what allowed me to shift, edit, and take control of creating that circle.

Your circle will keep on changing, just like you do. And that's part of the balance, flow, and maintenance in truly creating your circle — and protecting who you are today, and tomorrow.